The Signifying Monkey
From the Book of Life
By: Iceberg Slim
Deep down in the jungle where the tall grass grows,
lived the signifyingest monkey the world ever knowed.
He was up in a tree just a snoring a bit,
when he thought he’d come up with some of his shit.
Now down on the ground in a great big ring,
lived a bad ass Lion that just knew he was king.
The signifying monkey spied the Lion one day,
and said, “hey, I heard something ‘bout you down the way.”
There’s a big motherfucka that lives over there,
and the way he talked would curl your hair.
From what he said, he can’t be your friend,
‘cause he said if yall two asses meet yours is sure to bend.
I mean this burly motherfucka called your mammy a whore,
and said your sister turned tricks on the cabin floor.
Talked about your wife in a helluvah way,
said she fucked the whole jungle just the other day.”
Lion said, “what! If he said that ‘bout my bitch he’d have to pay;
I’d whoop his ass all motherfuckin’ day.”
The Lion jumped up full of rage;
like a ditty bopper ready to rampage.
He stormed through the jungle like death on a breeze,
knocking all the coconuts off the trees.
He came upon a Hippo bathing in a pond,
and said, “come on out motherfucka the show is on.”
The Hippo said, “get your wires straight before you get me;
the one your want is behind that tree.”
He dug the Elephant hiding behind a Pine;
and said, “come on out, your ass is mine.”
The Elephant peaked out from the corner of his eyes,
and said, “ain’t you better pick on somebody your own dam size”!
The Lion jumped up with a mighty pass;
but the Elephant knocked him dead on his ass.
He rumped and stumped, fucked up his face;
kicked him so hard one time knocked his asshole out of place.
They fought all night and half the next day;
I still don’t know how the lion drug his ass away.
But back he came more dead than alive;
and the monkey came up with more of his jive.
Now the monkey had been watching from his tree all the while;
and started signifying in true monkey style.
He said, “hey mister Lion your show look sad;
that cocksucker must have really been bad.
When you left here you were yelling like a pup;
now look at you, you’re all fucked up.
And don’t tell me you didn’t get beat;
‘cause me and my woman had a ring-side seat.
Every time I’m up here trying to cop me a bit;
here you come with that old rah rah shit.
Now get on out from under my tree,
‘for I swing on over your head a pee.”
The monkey jumped up down and around;
‘till his foot missed the limb and his ass hit the ground.
Like a bolt of lightening and a streak of heat,
the Lion was on the monkey’s ass with all four feet.
The monkey looked up with tears in his eyes,
and said, “goddam Mr. Lion I apologize.”
Lion said, “ain’t no use in you pleading and crying;
I’m putting an end to your signifying.
This signifying got to stop”
and I’m tearing you up from asshole to top.
Now the monkey seen that he couldn’t get away;
So, he had to think of something slick to say.
Lion said, “Mr. Monkey make your last request”;
monkey said, “get your feet off my motherfuckin chest.
I know you think you’re raising hell,
‘cause you caught me when I slipped and fell.
But if you just let me get my ass off the ground and my nuts out the sand;
I’ll whoop your ass like a natural born man.
If you just let me up like a fighting man should,
I’ll kick your ass all around these woods.”
Now such a bold challenge the Lion never had;
and it made the old man fighting mad.
The Lion jumped up ready for a fight;
but the signifying Monkey jumped clean out of sight.
As far as the naked eye could see,
he landed in the highest tree.
He said, “hey Mr. Lion, don’t you know”
that’s the bullshit that makes the green grass grow.”
He said, “Mr. Lion, Mr. Lion I thought you was king;
but I found out you ain’t a goddam thing.
Down there on the ground, huh – I’m gon’ treat you like a brother;
but up here in this tree, you’re a no good motherfucka.
And I swear if you ever fuck with me again;
I’m gon’ go deep in the jungle and get my elephant friend.”
Then, the monkey laughed and he called as a swung away,
“I’ll live to signify another day!”